We’ve arrived

I just wanted to give a special welcome to our new house trolls. Apparently I merited two of them. Their names are Diego and Maverick. I think Maverick is the supervisor and Diego is kind of the advance scout.

Anyhow, check them out, say hello if you like. If they feel like staying and performing for us, we’ll get to know them better and it will be loads of fun for everyone.

Treat them as you’d want to be treated, if you were in their place, and it should all work out fine. Or maybe they’ll go away, and it’s all the same to me.

You have the right to remain silent

No one shall be forced to give testimony before us. No one shall be imprisoned or held for bail. Our methods must be entirely peaceful and without the threat of punishment before a judgment made by a jury of one’s own peers.

Our authority is such that the alternative would devolve quickly to an inquisition.

Signing statement

We are not going to call a constitutional convention at this time the constitution has been violated. Article the eighth of amendment (tenth as proposed) provides, in full:

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Torture is cruel and unusual punishment, and as it is torture that is at the base of our investigation we have no remit to go beyond enforcing the constitution at this time.

Our authority proceeds from our natural and God given sovereignty and is not otherwise limited.


We are an investigating grand jury. There has been a crime committed by the government. Torture was authorized, and the congress passed it into law.

We need to know facts and accusations, we need to know what is alleged and what happened. We will discover these things in the course of our dialogue over however long it takes to uncover the truth.

When we have reached a decision, a petit jury will be convened if and when appropriate to hear the charges which have been brought, and to grant to every defendant protection and every fairness including the presumption of innocence until the matter is proven beyond a reasonable doubt.

That presumption of innocence does not apply to our work today. We are going to hear the accusations and weight them, to consider them among ourselves and find consensus.

And now the supper is ready

Thanks to Jon Gold for the suggestion.

Update: alternate replacement video: Read the rest of this entry »

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